Do Homeschoolers SHELTER their kids “TOO MUCH?”
I’m friends with parents of all school types: homeschool, public school, and private school—even some who attend a hybrid school (mix between homeschool and private).
We all want the best for our kids. We all work hard at our children’s education.
Recently, I was discussing with a parent why she in particular should try homeschooling for a while with her child. The child in question is having issues at school, suffering from poor influences. It is NOT going away or getting better. There have been signs of the poor influences off and on for over a year. Where is the influence coming from? Without a doubt, the mom admitted school. There is not even a cell phone or social media involved as the child does not own one.
Understand that I did NOT suggest the mother quit her salaried job out of the blue to homeschool (however, if she did, the sacrifice would be worth it). I did, however, suggest enlisting the help of friends whom she trusts to keep her child during the daytime. There would be plenty of opportunities for her to get some practice in her studies there and still be supervised by her parents when she comes home. It would not be all that different to times past when she sought out someone she trusted for childcare. (When children enter kindergarten parents stop interviewing places for childcare and enroll their child in school, putting their trust in the system to give their child a “good” and “safe” teacher.)
I explained that our local homeschool community has opportunities for her daughter to meet up for weekly classes and field trips with other children. Really, where we live, the sky is the limit!
“Don’t take my word for it, “ I said. “Ask plenty of other friends around you who homeschool. Christmas vacation is the perfect time to dig around for some information!”
At the end of our phone conversation this terribly concerned mom commented, “But I cannot shelter my child forever. [My child] will encounter these experiences in the real world anyway.”
And then, my soap box speech began:
Where does this idea of sheltering being a bad thing come from?
Are we to expose our children to any and every bad experience and influence—no matter their age or mental health? And let them be exposed when we aren’t even there to monitor?
Children need sheltering. We learn this in school about living things. They need shelter and food. Children need even more than that!
You see, the very things that are damaging to your child through daily exposure at school (through some teachers and some students), I do talk about with my own homeschooled children.
What is the difference? How the ideas are presented. The worldview. I get to know what was said and have the time to speak with my children about it. If it’s something inappropriate for my two elementary children, I might only discuss it with my middle schooler. I’m the filter for what is age appropriate and what is not. I’m the filter for what is APPROPRIATE or not (because let’s face it: many inappropriate things are done and discussed in a public school setting—whether a teacher is aware or not).
You are sheltering your child when you refuse to give him a cell phone or put filters on the phone he has. You shelter your child when you don’t allow him to go to certain homes with friends. We all do this a bit differently as parents because our children are different. That’s ok. You know your child best.
If your child is at their weakest and struggling, you MUST consider their mental health and shelter them and nurture them.
You can still guide your children into how they should function in the world. Homeschool children will be interacting in the world, sometimes working daytime jobs while others are in school. Homeschool children run errands with parents and can learn through experiences, rather than worksheets only that imitate the experiences.
Would you send your child somewhere for 7-8 hours a day for 5 days a week where they are learning ideas and experiencing unhealthy relationships that go directly against your values and beliefs? Many parents are…and it’s only because they see homeschooling in a negative light. They believe it is a subpar way to raise children.
What has the public school system done to show us how stellar it is in preparing children for the “real world” and the “real issues they will face every day?” Do we have evidence of THAT success?
Or, are we seeing children pulled into negative peer pressures when they aren’t strong enough to withstand it, being influenced by people who do not share the same values and beliefs as the child’s family? How is it working out as a whole in our country?
Here are some interesting statistics I found while researching:
Each year, there are 2% to 8% more Americans who homeschool their kids. One in every twelve students in the US is homeschooled, according to NHERI. (Census Bureau of the United States)
With grades 6 to 8, homeschooling is most prevalent. (we all knew middle school was a tough time for kids mentally and socially)
42% of parents believe that homeschooling would not adequately prepare a child for life outside the home in terms of social skills. (Notice here that this is a belief—not based in facts—and held by people who have NOT tried homeschooling)
50% of homeschooling parents feel safe in homeschooling. This was the primary reason for parents opting for homeschooling. (Wouldn’t you move mountains and step out of your comfort zone for your child’s safety?)
Regardless of the parent’s financial and educational status, homeschooled students consistently score 15% to 30% higher on these benchmark achievement tests than students enrolled in public schools.
If you are on the fence about homeschooling, do some research yourself:
—Talk to MULTIPLE homeschool families (they can be quite different from one another)
—Listen to some homeschool podcasts.
—Research the statistics regarding homeschooling
—Subscribe to some homeschool YouTube channels (more than one because you do NOT want only one family painting the idea of what it should look like).
—Be open minded. K-12 public education has not always been the norm. Look beyond the last 100 years or so.
Remember that experiences of value usually come with a cost. Homeschooling is a sacrifice, but is worth it. It is personal to you, and you get to decide how you want to do it.
Check out my FREE Survival Guide for the New Homeschool Family here!