Do you judge homeschool parents? What is a “homeschool mentality?”

Homeschool Mentality. What is it?

Have you ever heard judgmental comments about homeschooling? 

Perhaps you have had discussions with family members and it’s caused you some stress. 

If you have NEVER been in this situation, it’s a bit like when someone makes judgmental comments about your parenting, in general. (We’ve all probably felt that at one time or another, right?)

WHAT I USED TO THINK OF HOMESCHOOLING

I can recall what my views of homeschooling were before I decided to do it myself….

My views were based on who I had known who had been homeschooled.

Growing up, the kids who were homeschooled were only homeschooled temporarily when their parents got mad about something at school (usually something silly) and “yanked their child out.” It didn’t leave the best impression with me at the time.

Then, a family with lots of kids moved to the area. They drove a van and homeschooled and dressed differently. I remember them being nice, but a little different. I never heard unkind comments about them. It was more odd to me that they had so many kids rather than the fact they homeschooled.

By the time I got to college, a couple of close friends had been homeschooled up to that point. They were nice. They were smart. They were sociable. I really didn’t give it much more thought after that. After all, I wasn’t in school anymore, and I was planning to be a teacher.

Fast forward to teaching at one of the local private schools. A teacher friend was speaking about a student in her class and mentioned how the child’s family had that “homeschool mentality.” I laugh about it now, because I really do know the teacher really meant no ill will. She really was one of the sweetest and most loved teachers. However, her comment stuck with me. I still remember it now. 

So what did she mean by “homeschool mentality?” I think I have an idea.  Apparently, to her it didn’t seem like the parents were concerned if the child finished her school work or excelled. For that teacher, that had been HER experience with homeschool families. I can’t even really say that homeschool was to blame in the student’s case. It could’ve been a busy lifestyle of the parents or frankly, the child’s personality. But the teacher was convinced it was “homeschool mentality” why the student performed or didn’t perform the way she did. You see, she knew that this child had been homeschooled for a few years in the past.

So, let’s talk about homeschool mentality.  Does it exist? I think to a degree it does. 

After being a homeschool parent for 8 years now and knowing scores of other homeschool families, here is what I would call a “HOMESCHOOL MENTALITY”:

1. A “homeschool mentality” is ok being different and being the minority in society.

Although the popularity of homeschool is rising dramatically, it’s still not the majority of families.

Some parents have always known they wanted to homeschool. 

Some have been dead set against it for years and something essentially “forced” them into it. 

Some didn’t think much about it until assessing what best school options there were for their children. This was certainly the case with me. I thought quite a bit about school options when my oldest child was four.

One thing is for sure, each and every homeschool parent has made the decision to go against the majority and be different.

 2. A “homeschool mentality” recognizes parental rights. Homeschool parents feel they are the ones who should make decisions regarding their children’s education. They are ok researching a curriculum, trying it out, and changing it if they don’t like it or if it doesn’t work. They are not going to be ok with a teacher in a school teaching their child something that is opposite of their beliefs on a certain topic. That could be something religious, moral, or even a particular style, strategy or approach. Parents have preferences, for example when it comes to teaching subjects like math. Some do not like common core math but are ok with a more “old school” approach.  Some parents prefer math to be taught with mastery (mastering a skill) before moving on to the next skill. Other parents might like a spiral approach where there is more constant review in the math lessons. 

3. A “homeschool mentality” includes an I CAN attitude. 

If homeschool parents don’t know how to do something, they will find someone who does OR they will be determined to learn it themselves. Picture a mom sitting beside her child navigating a high school math lesson together. How about parents who take their child for woodworking lessons because the child has a natural interest and may want to pursue a career in that area? Homeschool families sometimes want to live off the land and choose to homestead. (You can find lots of YouTube channels or blogs from families doing just that). They aren’t happy sitting around waiting for something to happen. They learn to do it in whatever way possible or find someone who can help. Recently, I wanted a second opinion on my son’s speech. For the last two months, I’ve taken him to a speech therapist for 30 minutes a week. We’ve practiced, and now he’s almost reached his goal of saying his R sound correctly! It was not my area of expertise, so I sought help for a time period from someone who had experience.

Perhaps you’ve had a poor experience with homeschoolers. You might have your own idea of what a “homeschool mentality” is.  You might know a family who you think is neglecting their child academically. Guess what? There are THOUSANDS of children in homes just like that who are in public school as well. Many children still fall through the cracks in the school system. I know. I’ve taught them. It was frustrating to me as a teacher to see parents who didn’t seem to care as much as I did about those things. I’ve met homeschool parents like that too. The difference is that the homeschool child isn’t in school for hours a day and just might have a chance to become good at some other skill. Don’t get me wrong, one of the most important academic things you can teach a child is how to read. If you need help with that, be sure to download my free guide “Five Quick Tips to Immediately Help Your Struggling Reader.” I’ll leave a link in the description below. You can also watch my play list for struggling readers. 

We can only control other people so much in their parenting. We all have our different styles. Sometimes, it seems, like homeschooling families are sometimes held to a higher standard, like they must have something to prove. The truth is, there are all kinds of lessons out there to be learned that aren’t academic in nature. There are all kinds of jobs out there to support a family that may not be a college based job. We can find value in each and every one of them. 

If you are a homeschool family reading this, leave a comment below about your experience. I always read them!  Have you been judged by someone on the outside? perhaps a family member? 

Or, have you helped change the mind of what someone thinks is a “homeschool mentality?” Each and every good experience we have with the public can shape their view of homeschoolers. My children and I have the “homeschool talk” each time we visit a store or library during the daytime. I tell them, “People know you must be homeschoolers. Act your best.”

Comment below if you think I’ve left something out. Don’t forget to share with a friend. If you’d like a copy of my “5 Quick Tips to Immediately Help Your Struggling Reader” you can find that here.

Check out my Youtube Channel as well!

Remember, you are your child’s most influential teacher.