Parents, YOU Have the Power
School is just around the corner! Many of you have enjoyed a vacation or Independence Day. The next thing on your list is perhaps school shopping or Tax Free Day.
You might be reflecting on just how short the summer is. You might be regretting you “didn’t get around to” doing something you needed to do regarding your child’s learning.
I want you to know that YOU HAVE THE POWER to make a difference for your child. If not you, then who? Most of you see your child every single day (with the exception of those in split custody situations). With time applied appropriately, you can make a large difference for your child’s education just in your everyday actions.
Teachers come and go.
Although you may have an influential one in your child’s life,
you as the parent will always be there for your child.
Let’s talk about some ways that you can harness that power you have to make a difference for your child:
Determine options for time spent
You make the decisions for bedtime, summer hours, after school hours, and extracurricular activities. You are the parent. You pay for those things. You determine what chores are to be done. Reflect on how you run your household. Are your children required to help out? Do they have their own responsibilities? If you’ve neglected this area, it is not too late to start. You can start gradually, but do expect some pushback. Push through! It is worth it. You are teaching lessons of responsibility and work. That will benefit your child as an adult later in life.
You make up the deal on how much screen time your child is allowed AND when. We’ve all probably fallen into bad habits. I’ve gone through periods of time where I wasn’t getting much sleep at night and the children would wake up before me. Then, they would watch the tv to stay quiet and occupied until I woke up. Let me just say, I was surviving, but it was a POOR HABIT! I noticed my children were much lazier and had more meltdowns and an overall bad attitude. They weren’t watching bad tv, but it still affected them negatively. It can take some detoxing time if your child has been used to too much screen time.
Look at your schedule.
How much time in there do you have to talk to your child,
show your child how to do things or even play a game together?
What I generally see in our culture is families that are FAR OVER SCHEDULED.
They equate having their child in multiple time-consuming activities
as being healthy and “good” for their child.
However, I’m not seeing that being overly schedule has an overall positive effect on those families or our culture in general. It’s ok for your child to have some down time to explore new interests and just to spend family time together with you—with grandparents—with neighbors—and with church family.
You should be the top influencer in your child’s life. You are making the decisions. You ARE your child’s most influential teacher. What is it that you are teaching your child? Reflect on that. I know you want to teach your child what matters most in life, a healthy outlook, how to be a “good person,” and so on. You just have to think for a moment how your daily choices for time are being helpful toward those ideas. If you are over scheduled or not spending quality time with your child in conversation, how much positive influence are you going to have?
Choose the appropriate environment for your child
Think of your home environment, your child’s school environment and who you allow your child to be around. You make those choices. It seems like parents want to really research daycares when their children are little and know what they can about the person watching their child. Then when school starts, they’re ok knowing very little on who comes into contact with their child. Do you know your child’s teacher personally? If so, wonderful! Now, think. Does your child have additional teachers at school for different specialty classes? Do you know them too? It may seem like an impossible task, but I beg you to get involved. If your child is in school, the best way you are going to know about that environment is to be a substitute for a little while. Make a way. Go to a PTA meeting and find out who is who. All of this holds true even if your child is in a private school.
Your child’s environment also includes a school bus or friends and friends’ families. It’s easier to know who is who if you live in small town America. However, not all of us do. It’s ok to make those tough decisions and say no. It’s ok to gather as two families together when your child makes a friend. If you do not, and you send your child to a friend’s house, you are sending them to a stranger’s house (if you don’t know the parents). The power rests with you. Some of my friends have handled these situations by being the host of their children’s friends so they control the environment.
Research what you need to know.
Are you wondering what your child should be learning? Research it! Most states have a list of expectations for each grade level and subject. They are called “state standards.” If your child is in public school, the school should be following those.
Are you wondering what your child should be proficient in to have a particular job or go to a particular college? Research it. There has never been an easier time to find answers with the internet at our fingertips.
Are you wondering why your child isn’t learning a skill well? Perhaps there is a learning disability? Read and watch all you can on the topic. Again, the information is out there if you make it a priority. You have the power to find the information you need. At times, you might feel overwhelmed but take heart, and persevere. Your children are WORTH IT.
Put a plan into action.
Perhaps you discovered that your child is “behind” or deficient in some particular skill. WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT IT? Historically, I’ve heard parents complain about a bad teacher, but then what? Sometimes they go a bit further and hire a tutor or have a parent teacher conference. While those actions are commendable, they aren’t the ONLY solution. Believe it or not, YOU can help your child learn. Let me say that again in another way: You CAN teach your child an academic skill! There has never been more free information online as there is currently. While some people pay online services for courses and instruction, there is still much offered online for free. You can order textbooks, workbooks, manipulatives (hands-on learning) and take matters into your own hands. It doesn’t meaning you are committing to be a full time homeschool parent. Those of you who choose private or public school have FULL PERMISSION to teach your child if there is an area at school in which your child is NOT getting served properly. You can even purchase an online service to help the child work through some skills. We know that we don’t always get to choose the teacher or the school where our children are zoned. But whose child is it? Ultimately the responsibility of what your child learns lies with you, the parent—the decision maker. Don’t sit on the sidelines.
Help shape future goals for your child.
My dad had two college degrees, but he always told us children, “College isn’t for everybody.” He didn’t mean that only some people DESERVED college while others didn’t . He just meant that it was ok if your path in life didn’t include college. Is it possible to be successful in life without a college degree? Absolutely! On the other hand, if your child is headed toward a college career path, what does he/she need to have or learn first?
So what are your child’s strengths and weaknesses? What does your child NEED to know or be able to do before leaving home one day? Start with the end in mind and work backward. Perhaps your child needs to learn more about organization, working hard, or maybe basic math skills. Maybe your child would like to find a mentor in the same field in which they would like to work one day. Could you work in a way to make a field trip or set up a day to shadow someone in their profession?
Once our children leave the house we are no longer the decision makers and influencers. That time is now. Consider what is most important for your own child as far as needs, wants, and interests.
When you have a newborn baby it seems like having a school-aged child is so far away, but it all goes by quite quickly. Take time to reflect on what you are choosing for your child in regard to education, activities, worldview, and goals. Evaluate and readjust your decisions if necessary.
Remember, you are your child’s most influential teacher.