Help! My Child’s Teacher Won’t Communicate With Me
Have you ever been in that situation where you can’t get a straight answer from your child about what happened during the day or what is required homework to be completed, etc.? Have you ever had that teacher that doesn’t reply to your email, even after a couple of days? Read my plan of action for building a healthy relationship with the teacher to boost communication and find out the answers to your questions.
Meet the teacher in person as soon as you can.
The best scenario is to meet the teacher at the first open house or registration day. She might not remember you if she sees you out in public after only one meeting. However, it makes a great first impression that she can easily be reminded of when the first conference or concern comes around (whichever happens first).
What if you plan to move to a new school in the middle of the school year and miss out on open house? Most elementary schools will escort the parents and new student to the teacher’s room on the child’s first day. Be assured that there is nothing wrong with setting up an appointment within a week of your your child’s first day. In fact, I highly recommend it! All the information that the teacher prepared for the beginning of the school year can usually be shared in a brief 10-15 minute meeting. It just has a way of smoothing out the kinks and lessening the misunderstandings you may have down the road.
Attend or schedule conferences
If you are unable to attend the predetermined conferences set forth by the school district (or if you have a concern that arises before that time), you may request a scheduled meeting with the teacher at her convenience. Did you know this?
Parents often have work schedules that conflict with the date and hours the conferences are planned. Don’t be shy! This is the person who spends time every day with your child (sometimes eight hours, if the classroom is elementary). The time you request may be before, after, or during school, depending on the availability and willingness of both of you to compromise. Remember to show common courtesy and schedule a time, rather than just showing up without prior agreement. Yes, teachers get a planning time most every day, but it’s usually a time already spoken for by other meetings and responsibilities.
Bottom line: show respect by calling/emailing ahead if you need to cancel and do not show up unannounced.
Communicate in writing on a day to day or weekly basis
(Daily for elementary/special needs students, weekly for middle school students)
“What?! I have 3 children! You expect me to write 3 teachers each day?!” Let me say that the daily communication can be something as simple as signing your name in a homework folder, planner, or calendar. When I say day to day, it does not mean an entire letter each day. That would be quite time-consuming for the teacher to reply to each and every day—precious time taken from learning.
For the younger grades, the best teachers already have a routine in place for daily communication and feedback. If your child’s teacher does not have a routine, it’s still a good idea to check on their behavior and assignments daily anyway (elementary-aged or special needs).
In this technological world that we live in, most teachers find email to be a convenient form of communication. It’s immediate and you don’t have to worry about the child losing a note. You may print it out and refer to it later, should you need to.
Speaking of email….
When you are upset, please request an in-person conference
We all have probably witnessed firsthand through social media how certain words can give a tone to the nature of one’s message. It’s best to request an in-person meeting or phone conference to discuss issues of an emotional nature.
Please remember, however, that when you request a meeting to politely let the teacher know the topic it’s regarding ahead of time. This allows the teacher to prepare and gather her thoughts or information that may need to be shared during the meeting. When you send a nasty email to a teacher, it affects the learning of your child the entire day and will put the teacher on the defensive.
Remember to briefly express appreciation for the teacher’s effort
When you are polite and complimentary of the teacher, she is more likely to be open to communicating with you. Remember that if there has been conflict or rudeness between the two of you that phone calls and return emails have a way of getting put on the “back burner” due to the dread of dealing with confrontation and conflict resolution.
A simple “Thank you for what you do!” written in a planner goes a long way!
I’d love to hear your experiences in communicating with your child’s teacher!
Did you have an effective teacher that really kept in touch?
Have you had a communication “breakdown” with a teacher that was an unpleasant experience?
Let me know in the comments!