I’m Nervous About My Parent Teacher Conference!

It’s going to be ok.! It is quite normal for you to feel nervous about a parent teacher conference. This meeting might be your very first, it might be a special-called meeting for a specific issue, or there may be some baggage that comes with the present school year making you nervous. Bottom line: It’s your job as a parent to help your child. It’s your child’s teacher’s job to help your child.

Know that no matter the personality of the teacher, she ultimately would like your child to perform well.

There are a few things to consider that will make your parent teacher conference more than just a busy day for you. You want it to be the most effective and positively-impacting that it can be. Here’s how:

Decide on scheduling a conference based on the child’s needs

Any parent whose child is struggling academically, behaviorally, or socially should make it a priority to attend a conference. On the other hand, if your child is making adequate progress with no concerns, you may not need a conference (other than to show your support for your child’s education).

From a teacher’s perspective, she is looking to meet with parents of children with the most need. So, if a teacher does not specifically request a conference due to your child doing well, do not feel slighted. You have a right to still request one, should you want it. The teacher  likely needed extra time to meet with much needier students and felt your child was performing well.

Not every conference can be confined to a 15 minute period. Some need at least double that amount of time. Many school policies include a teacher sending a form home to allow all parents to schedule a conference, should they so desire. It does not mean that you have to go. If you and the teacher have no concerns for your child, simply write a note on the form that you decline a conference at the time.

Come prepared with your concerns/questions in writing

Not only will this help you stay focused on the issues you want to address, but it can be a great resource to leave with the teacher so that your concerns are not quickly forgotten.  I often scan my notes after speaking with a parent and share a signed copy with them.

Know what you want to say in a concise way, so that the real issues are not lost in rambling that causes time to run out. This means writing thoughts down ahead of time and weeding through unnecessary information. In other words---prepare for the conference. Be ready to share your concern, ask or offer a solution, and compromise on the plan of action you and the teacher agree on.

Come with the intention of leaving with a plan of action in place

Sometimes parent teacher conferences are cut short due to scheduling, and by the time it’s over the only thing that has occurred is vent session.  But, what next? The plan of action could be something as simple as an agreement that the child will have the teacher initial his/her planner each day to ensure that the student has the appropriate assignments written down.  Or, it may be a little more involved, such as the child reviewing math facts 10 minutes a night with various apps.

When you leave, having made any decision or agreement, be sure to touch base within a week to remind the teacher.

Know that it’s ok to feel nervous

It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous, particularly if your concern is great or if this is your first conference.  Hopefully your preparations will give you confidence as you walk in to the meeting.

You may also bring a trusted friend or relative with you. This practice is done more than you think! I’ve met grandmothers, boyfriends, aunts, etc. during conference time. Your child’s teacher should have an area where the 2 or 3 or even 4 of you can sit at a table together to discuss the child’s progress as a team of people who all care for the child.

Most teachers become teachers because they like children and like to help people. Keep this in mind when you feel nervous. They are there to help.

When your appointment time comes for your conference, dress your best (you'll feel better when you do) and come with something on which to take notes.