My Child is Failing! What Can I Do?
Oh how “out of control” it can feel when your child is failing a class.
You’re not there to see what’s going on.
You might lack some actual communication to find out what’s the root of the problem.
You might even find out about the problem a little late.
How frustrating! Here are some action steps you can take to get the ball rolling on improvement.
Meet with teacher (and possibly principal)
I realize that sometimes you may not find out your child is failing a class until it’s late and close to the end of the grading period. THIS IS WRONG AND YOU SHOULD SPEAK UP ABOUT IT.
However, if you are getting graded papers sent home in a timely manner or grades entered into an online system for you to review, be grateful. Many parents I speak with are missing this critical form of communication and cannot really say why their child is failing.
When you meet with your child’s teacher there is some information you need to find out:
—How was the material taught before it was graded?
—Were any study guides given? Can study guides be given? (even if they’re just a list of what to know)
—Are there any distractions during class time affecting grades?
—When are the next tests/graded assignments?
Ask for a syllabus or pacing guide.
Each state has a list of standards for each subject and grade level that teachers must teach. Usually at a school district level, it is decided which standards will be taught during each grading period. If the teachers know this, why can’t you as the parent?
It is true that many parents have a hands-off approach, and teachers may get used to parents not asking for this information. However, if your child is the struggling, you SHOULD ASK FOR THIS INFORMATION.
Struggling students benefit from extra time. If you know material that is going to be taught, you can practice it at home or have a tutor help your child in targeted skills.
Make a clear communication plan.
How are you going to get critical information? Often, children lose papers on the way home.
Here are some options:
—dependable email or text messages from the teacher
—screenshots of papers that are sent home
—communication system in a planner with parent signatures
Have a game plan for home.
When you know what is going to be taught, how will you handle it at home? How can you give your child extra practice or help him be prepared? It depends on the subject and the foundational skills that might have been missed, but decide how to practice without wearing your child out. Often, just doing a little practice each day (even weekends) can pay off more. The consistency truly helps. If you need to enlist the help of a tutor, just make sure the lines of communication are open between all parties: teacher, tutor, and parent.
Sometimes grades are lower than they should be due to lack of motivation on the child’s part. In other words, the child has the ability to do better but is not. In those cases you may need to restrict some activities at home that are not helpful. Namely, screens. In my experience as a tutor, I’ve seen screen time be the most damaging thing to a student’s attitude and lack of motivation to do well in school. Some families have a rule about screen time only after homework is done or only on the weekends. Expect pushback in the beginning, but it will pay off.
Ask in writing that your child be tested or screened for learning disabilities.
Sometimes the child needs some material modified, or changed. It might be a word bank to help on a fill-in-the-blank page. It might be longer time to complete the work. It might be the material needs to be read aloud to the child. If you know for sure that your child does not have a learning disability that is affecting the grade, then you have a better idea of some action steps you can take for motivation.
The bottom line is, you CANNOT CONTINUE ON THE PATH OF FAILURE!
Just think of what it is doing to a child’s self esteem and desire to learn to see paper after paper handed back with Ds and Fs.
If that were you receiving bad grade after bad grade, would it make you want to try harder?
Sometimes, teachers need to be reminded of this. Sometimes teachers aren’t parents yet. Sometimes teachers are just overwhelmed and busy because they are new and inexperienced in a very difficult job.
Help paint the picture for your child’s teacher that repeated low grades are damaging to the child. You are your child’s best advocate, so please speak up. The goal should be that the child learns. The goal is not to get grades. Grades are just an indicator, a form of communication to the parent of how the child is doing. I’m not saying that good grades should be handed out for free. However, I’m saying that a change needs to occur (whether in modifications to the assignments, extra instruction, or behaviors that motivate the child). Continuing in the cycle of repeated low grades is not the solution. A child must learn a valuable life lesson: hard work pays off and it is possible to do difficult things. Be reasonable that your child might not get an A, but that any improvement should be recognized. For some children, it is the best they can do to get a C.
Some parents in your shoes have opened up to the possibility of homeschooling. It does require a paradigm shift, though. So, instead of thinking of grades and predetermined lists of standards, reflect instead on, “What does my child need to know before high school graduation?”
You know your child. If your child is not going to have a math related job, then my advice is to not “torture” your child over highly complicated math. On the other hand, math is essential for our everyday lives, so be sure your child has plenty of experience with estimation, solving real world problems, managing money, and measuring.
Children need to know how to read. It opens up a world of opportunities to teach oneself a myriad of different skills and ways of thinking. When you choose to homeschool a failing student, you have the flexibility to go back and reteach foundational skills that were mastered. Imagine! Your struggling learner CAN LEARN TO READ even in later grades when he is not burdened with learning upper level skills that are irrelevant to a child who cannot read. Often, children like this are passed on to the upper grades because of age and the teachers there really have no idea how to handle children who cannot read.
When you take the role of homeschooling parent, you are preparing your child for life as an adult and your child gets a front row seat to watch and learn from you.
If you’d like more information, I urge you to download my Survival Guide for the New Homeschool Family here.
Do you have questions? Email Rebecca@TheParentTeacherBridge.com
Would you like a consultation? Arrange a consultation now!
Remember, you are your child’s most influential teacher!