Where Do You Get Your Parenting Advice?

This is a blog for parents. It is a blog for parents and their child’s education.

I am a parent. I am not a perfect parent.

But there is something I have thought about a great deal as I see a younger generation of parents growing (many of whom technically could be my own children, had I started young enough).

I know what I see in online forums and social media communities and it bothers me:

ASKING FOR ADVICE FROM STRANGERS

Now, you might be thinking, “Rebecca, you’re a stranger to me. I don’t really know you.” Well, that’s true. However, if you follow my Youtube, my blog, and my Instagram you probably have a better idea of who I am and what my children are like than a random mom on social media.

So, here’s how it usually goes:

A mom is in some sort of “mom’s group” online. She has a concern about her child or her child’s learning or sometimes even her child’s health. She doesn’t know ANYONE personally in the entire group, and to be honest, it’s mostly a group of her peers. She will get all sorts of advice from them. What I notice is that the advice is vastly different than what it would have been in the same scenario just five or ten years ago.

What does that mean?

That means that her standard of measurement is CONSTANTLY changing with culture around her.

If popular culture in movies, books, music, and television has deemed something appropriate or unacceptable, then that is likely the advice the young mother will get from her peers of random moms online. Moms who might say something is ok and worked for them, but do you even really know that for certain? We have varying ideas on what success is in our own families.

Where is the wisdom in that?

It is best to ask advice from people you trust have been through a similar situation in the past. They might have something to share with you that is something you SHOULD do or something you should AVOID. We often hear from people looking back on their life saying, “If I were to do that I again, I would change x, y, or z.”

For every decision we make, there are repercussions and consequences. Asking advice from experienced moms who are older (whom you have seen raise their children) will help more than polling peers.

It is best to have a tested standard to measure up your decisions.

For our family, we use the Bible as our standard. Not only are there proverbs that help guide a parent, but there are also stories of imperfect people just like me who have made decisions and faced the consequences of those decisions. Learning about them helps me to avoid unpleasant situations they may have faced or at least helps me deal with similar situations.

Now, a person might scoff or make fun of a person’s religion or set of values, but I will say having a set standard simplifies decisions you may make for your child. You know that some decisions are an automatic NO if they go against your standard or an automatic YES if they are in line with your standard.

For parents out there who have no set standard, they are using their conscience as their guide or popular culture. Looking all around us, it is clear that not everyone’s conscience is the same—and we know popular culture is constantly changing.

I’m not saying that change is always bad. It is a good thing to grow, mature, and adapt. However, constant change in where you stand on your values and philosophy leads to confusion—especially for your children.

So, the next time, you are feel the urge to ask advice, remember:

—Find solid research on the issue

—Consult experienced parents you know who have wisdom to share

—Consult your set and proven standard—not one that is ever-changing

Remember, YOU are your child’s most influential teacher.